The thing is, Jennifer, you can have what I have. It’s a matter of your personal choice. I too went through a series of bad and unfulfilling relationships before I figured out that it’s me who is setting the rules for how I want my life and relationships to be.
I learned to say no and let go of what made me miserable. I set up my own set of rules and refused to give in to the default and dysfunctional unwritten rules that have been insidiously (or shall I say hideously) forced upon us.
This sometimes means having the courage to let go of a bad relationship or rewrite the rules for how it’s going to be.
We, women, are also to blame for the situation by accepting how things are and giving in. But we cannot expect from the privileged ones to give up their undeserved privileges on their own. They have to be pushed into it.
Remember what the women of Sparta did in Lysistrata when dissatisfied with their husbands? They all pledged to refuse them sex until the men agreed to end the war. So when all women join forces and when we all say NO as one to what’s unfair and unacceptable, we achieve our goals. So let’s do it!